Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
