Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
