Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
