I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
