Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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