Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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