Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
