I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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