Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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