Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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