You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
