Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
