im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
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I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
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i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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