"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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