whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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