I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
