remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
