Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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