Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize