It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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