they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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