she smelled like a LAN party
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
