Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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