Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
