yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
