The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
