Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
