so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
