someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
