worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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