You're my little dorito
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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