You smell like stripper and shame
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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