Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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