Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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