First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
