We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
