I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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