Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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