We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize