what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
