What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
