I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
