Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
