fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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