I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My cat gives me a boner
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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