I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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