Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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