So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
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We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
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All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize