I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
