Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
i think my cat just said my name.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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