it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
