I think I died a long time ago.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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