wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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