In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
