u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
