Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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