I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you