You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize